


If Only...

by SilenceReigns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abused Harry, Abused Harry Potter, I’m so sorry, Songfic, Suicidal Harry, Suicidal harry potter, Suicide, i should sleep, sixth year, this is so so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:58:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceReigns/pseuds/SilenceReigns
Summary: A short, sad work using the song Lovely by Billie Eilish & Khalid. Suicide & minor abuse warning.What if Harry had enough?This is a story of death, and the loss of life that had yet to truly live.





	If Only...

**Author's Note:**

> Bold Italic- Lyrics  
> Italic- Thoughts 
> 
> Disclaimer: If I owned HP, I kinda wouldn't be here, writing fanfics. Additionally, I do not own the song “Lovely”. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

_Floating._

_Peace._

_Silence._

_It hangs in the air,_

_Still as the night,_

_Deathly as the blade in my hand._

_Maybe…_

~~_(Sigh)_ ~~

_Maybe I should end it all._

_It’s not as if anyone **truly** cares about me,_

_For all they see is a hero_

_When I am everything but._

_Why can’t they understand?_

_I am just a boy._

_A scared, lost, abused boy_

_That has never known love or friendship._

_So, so why **must** I continue to live_

_When I have nothing to live for?_

He turns the blade in his hand, sharp edge gleaming in the moonlight. In the distance, a thestral calls out, sensing that something big is about to happen. In the castle, black eyes snap open as a feeling of dread overtakes him. He brushes it off. If only he knew.  
If only…

_I-I can’t anymore._

Tears dripping down his face

_I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough_

_**Isn’t it lovely, all alone?** _

_Never enough._

_**Heart made of glass, my mind of stone** _

He swallows and lifts the blade, gazing at the only present he ever got from his godfather. His hand shakes, yet his heart beats steady.

_I’m coming Mum, Dad, Sirius.._

_**Tear me to pieces, skin and bone** _

A sob bursts from his throat as he stares death in the eyes. But he isn’t scared, no. Death has never scared him.

 _No more tears_  
_No more pain_  
_No more lies_  
_No more hate_  
_No more..._

_**Hello, welcome home.** _

They find him, a smile on his face with a dagger through his heart. The note lying besides him says:

_‘Do not grieve for me, for I am finally home.’_

The man with onyx eyes swallows. If only…

_If only._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> -Nyx


End file.
